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True Confessions of a Stay at Home Dad
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In May of 2011, I dismissed class for the last time and began a new chapter in my life, full-time dad. I taught middle school for seven years, but with two kids and a third on the way, I wasn't able to give as much time to teaching as it required, plus I wanted to spend more time with my own kids, instead of someone else's.

My wife and I have been married for nine years. She spends her days (and some nights and weekends) as an OB/GYN, or as my kids like to call it, “catching babies.”

We have three kids. First Born is eight years old, but likes to pretend she’s in college. Our son, Middle Man is five, but we’re convinced by the way he talks about things like “beautiful sunsets” that he’s an old soul, and our youngest, the Blonde Bomber is only three, but already has the attitude of a teenager.

Our kids provide us with an endless amount of stories. Writing and retelling these stories for Indy’s Child has been my part-time job for the past three years.

You can contact me on Facebook at True Confessions of a Stay at Home Dad or via email at indyschildpete@gmail.com.

O Christmas Tree
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O Christmas Tree

January 03, 2013 | 07:17 AM

My wife bought me a cheap little plastic six foot Christmas tree in college.

I loved that little tree, sadly that $14 investment broke after about seven years. I tried to replace the stand with another cheap tree from Dollar General, but it didn't work.

Finally, it was time for a real tree.

We arrived at the Christmas tree farm and were faced with two choices: We could take a tractor ride out into the tree field or buy a tree that was already cut. We noticed the tractor rides were all made up of the same types of families, one person was happy, the rest looked absolutely miserable. We headed over to the pre-cut trees. Thankfully.

We picked out our tree, set it up in our living room, filled it up with water and for the first 24 hours, it looked great. The tree slowly opened up and took over a good portion of our living room. The strangest thing happened though, it never drank a drop of water. I checked every day and the water level never dropped, not a bit. After a couple of weeks of checking, I noticed a smell coming from the water, a bad smell. My tree was dying a slow painful death and smelled like vomit, something needed to be done.

I decided some serious intervention would need to take place if this tree was going to see Christmas morning.

The first thing I did was change the vomit water. Since the tree was still in the stand I wasn't able to simply dump the water out. I needed to be creative. My wife handed me a baby "snot sucker" suction bulb and told me to suck the water out. I grabbed an empty bottle of Tanqueray and started filing it with sucked out vomit water. The irony of the whole thing was the empty gin bottle smelled like a fresh Christmas tree.

I also drilled some holes in the trunk, hoping the water would be able to go in the tree that way, but no luck. I wasn't sure how many holes to drill, but stopped drilling after my drill bit broke off and stuck in the tree.

My wife Googled, "dying Christmas tree," and one suggestion was giving it aspirin, so we crushed up some aspirin and gave that a shot too, talk about desperate.

Sadly, despite our best efforts, the tree didn't make it and out the door it went Christmas Eve morning.

Next year we may be back at Wal-mart looking for the perfect $14.99 tree.

-Pete


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