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True Confessions of a Stay at Home Dad
This is a blog about my life. My wife and I have three kids, ages six, three and one. Last year I gave up my gig as a middle school teacher to stay home with my kids full-time. This past year has been the most challenging, easy, relaxing, stressful, fun, tiring and rewarding year of my life.

My wife Amanda and I have been married for seven years. She spends her days (and nights and weekends) as an overworked Medical Resident.

Our oldest daughter, Eloise, is a bright, sweet, emotional first grader that loves to talk (she gets it from her mom). When not at school she is most likely playing dress up, turning some part of our house into a playroom, or creating a craft projects that involve: glue, magazines, markers, staples, stickers, scissors, crayons, pens, and a dozen sheets of paper.

Henry, the three year old middle child, is hell on wheels. There is not a house or store Henry cannot destroy in five to seven minutes max. He loves playing with his trucks, digging in his sandbox and occasionally putting on his sister’s pink plastic high heels.

Maggie, the one year old, is as sweet as they come. At a very early age she learned that her crying could barely be heard over the volume of her siblings. She has developed a blood curdling scream in order to get our attention that would make any horror movie producer proud.

Well there you have it, that’s pretty much my family in a nutshell.

DISCLAIMER: If you are looking for parenting advice you have come to the wrong place. Enjoy!

Dinner Time

Dinner Time

June 07, 2013 | 11:16 AM

The oven clock showed 4:30. It was time to start cooking dinner. I had a recipe, and all the necessary ingredients, the only thing between me and dinner for my family was...my family.

All three kids were occupied as I turned my back to wash the the dirty pan that still sat in the sink from lunch, and then it happened, my kids were already screaming at each other. My son threw a Hot Wheel at his baby sister. As I walked over to intervene, she threw it back at his face. Justice was served; I headed back to the kitchen.

Back to work, then I looked over at the dog lying down staring at me like he's never been fed in his life. It was 4:31 and he eats dinner every night at precisely 4:30. I stopped what I was doing and fed the dog.

4:33 Now the kids were screaming from upstairs. I went upstairs to find all three of them chasing each other yelling about stolen stickers. I also noticed there was a load of laundry I needed to move from the wash to the dryer. After moving that over, I was met by my oldest who proceeded to accidentally smash me in the shins with a chair from the kids table she was dragging to somewhere else in the house. Where was it going? I didn't even ask. I didn't want to know.

4:40 Drag my one-year-old daughter off the top of the kitchen table.

4:42 Let dog out to poop.

4:40 Start music to drown out the complaining (Pandora- Van Morrison station) *status of meal- still prepping ingredients

4:47 My one-year-old was suspiciously quiet, then I saw her on the other side of the kitchen island where she pulled the little rubber stoppers off the cabinet doors and licked the top of the salt shaker.

4:48 Violent coughing. I think she must have licked the pepper shaker too.

4:51 More tears. No worries, they were my tears, mincing an onion.

4:55 All three kids pretend to play kitchen, getting out spices and measuring cups and spoons. All was well...for a moment.

4:58 Somehow they managed to get the olive oil without me noticing. Disaster. *status of dinner-STILL prepping ingredients haven't actually started cooking anything yet.

5:01 The Rolling Stones are playing on my Pandora station. I'm grating cheddar cheese dancing like Mick Jagger. Moves like Jagger? Nope, not a pretty sight.

5:05 Dinner prepped. Time to start cooking. Kids managed to get a hold of the salt and pepper shakers and measuring cups again.

5:08 They're only making a little mess so I let it go.

5:11 My one-year-old (the table climber)was eating the wax off of candlesticks.

5:14 Then, she used the measuring spoons to scoop water out of the dog bowl.

5:19 She gets her own applesauce out of the pantry. Clearly she was bored and hungry.My two big kids are filling up cups with salt water and daring each other to drink them. I'm on step two of my recipe.

5:20 My son is riding my oldest daughter in the house like a horse and the horse is demanding carrots.

5:25 I moved onto steps three and four!

5:28 "Rocket Man" on Pandora. I seemed to have changed the lyrics a bit, I find myself singing, "Mars sounds like a pretty good place for my kids to raise themselves."

5:30 Glory, glory, hallelujah! Mama's home!

5:47 Dinner is in the oven. Chips and salsa appetizers are on the table.

5:57 Dinner is served!

A thirty minute meal, easily turned by me (with lots of help from my kids) into an hour and thirty minute meal.


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