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True Confessions of a Stay at Home Dad
This is a blog about my life. My wife and I have three kids, ages six, three and one. Last year I gave up my gig as a middle school teacher to stay home with my kids full-time. This past year has been the most challenging, easy, relaxing, stressful, fun, tiring and rewarding year of my life.

My wife Amanda and I have been married for seven years. She spends her days (and nights and weekends) as an overworked Medical Resident.

Our oldest daughter, Eloise, is a bright, sweet, emotional first grader that loves to talk (she gets it from her mom). When not at school she is most likely playing dress up, turning some part of our house into a playroom, or creating a craft projects that involve: glue, magazines, markers, staples, stickers, scissors, crayons, pens, and a dozen sheets of paper.

Henry, the three year old middle child, is hell on wheels. There is not a house or store Henry cannot destroy in five to seven minutes max. He loves playing with his trucks, digging in his sandbox and occasionally putting on his sister’s pink plastic high heels.

Maggie, the one year old, is as sweet as they come. At a very early age she learned that her crying could barely be heard over the volume of her siblings. She has developed a blood curdling scream in order to get our attention that would make any horror movie producer proud.

Well there you have it, that’s pretty much my family in a nutshell.

DISCLAIMER: If you are looking for parenting advice you have come to the wrong place. Enjoy!

Are you suffering from B.E.S.- Bring Everything Syndrome?

July 02, 2013 | 01:41 PM

Recently, our family went to a restaurant. We generally go out once or twice a month, so our two oldest kids know the routine, each one gets to bring a toy to occupy themselves while we wait for our food to come and while their mom and I drink a beer and pretend we are alone.

As we headed out the door for the nearest Kids Eat Free destination, I threw a diaper in my back pocket (wipes? who needs wipes?) for our little one and off we went.

We arrived at the restaurant and somehow the toy my son brought was a pair of dice. He must have raided the board game cabinet in a rush to find something to bring before we left the house. Looks like our days of playing Yahtzee are over.

Our six-year-old daughter had a book, not that she would sit quietly and read it, but she had something to spill her drink on or to complain about when her little sister took it from her.

This is how we travel to a restaurant.

As we were eating we saw a couple with their baby leaving the restaurant. I could only hope they were going directly from the restaurant to a two-week cross country hitchhiking trip, because that's the only excuse to justify the amount of stuff these people had with them.

In mom's hands:

Toys. Have you seen the spinner toy that suctions to the table which allows the kid to quietly and happily play during your meal? That's how it's supposed to work anyway. She was carrying one of those. Board books. Four of them. One for each course of the meal I guess.

She was also carrying a high chair cover. The covers are made to keep the high chair germs of other dirty babies from infesting your dirty baby. By the time your baby puts a page of the menu in his mouth it's safe to say cleanliness is no longer something to be concerned with.

In dad's hands:

Baby, in the oversized dual-airbag climate-controlled infant car seat.

A diaper bag roughly the size of a Hefty Lawn and Leaf bag, 36 gallon capacity. Since the bag was overflowing, my guess was it was holding approximately thirty diapers several hundred baby wipes, every infant medicine a person could possibly need (tylenol, ibuprofin, snake bite kit), rash cream, butt cream, butt paste, bibs, extra change of summer and winter clothes, more bibs, bulb suction, snacks and MORE board books.

How do I know what was in the bag? Because my wife and I used to be this couple. I'm not making fun of them, I just enjoy looking at what my life was like five years ago.

Back to my family at the restaurant. As I finished off my burger and beer, I noticed a funky smell? Oh great, my daughter had dirty diaper.

"Hey family with the little baby walking out the door, before you go on your cross country hiking trip, can we borrow some wipes?"


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