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True Confessions of a Stay at Home Dad
This is a blog about my life. My wife and I have three kids, ages six, three and one. Last year I gave up my gig as a middle school teacher to stay home with my kids full-time. This past year has been the most challenging, easy, relaxing, stressful, fun, tiring and rewarding year of my life.

My wife Amanda and I have been married for seven years. She spends her days (and nights and weekends) as an overworked Medical Resident.

Our oldest daughter, Eloise, is a bright, sweet, emotional first grader that loves to talk (she gets it from her mom). When not at school she is most likely playing dress up, turning some part of our house into a playroom, or creating a craft projects that involve: glue, magazines, markers, staples, stickers, scissors, crayons, pens, and a dozen sheets of paper.

Henry, the three year old middle child, is hell on wheels. There is not a house or store Henry cannot destroy in five to seven minutes max. He loves playing with his trucks, digging in his sandbox and occasionally putting on his sister’s pink plastic high heels.

Maggie, the one year old, is as sweet as they come. At a very early age she learned that her crying could barely be heard over the volume of her siblings. She has developed a blood curdling scream in order to get our attention that would make any horror movie producer proud.

Well there you have it, that’s pretty much my family in a nutshell.

DISCLAIMER: If you are looking for parenting advice you have come to the wrong place. Enjoy!

Please don't offer my kids dessert!

Please don't offer my kids dessert!

February 13, 2014 | 11:30 AM

Dear restaurant server,

Don't ask my kids if they want ice cream for dessert, or any dessert for that matter. I understand you are a teenager and may not understand exactly how these things work, but my kids are not the ones that make that decision. It is a decision made by a parent, not a two-year-old or a four-year-old.

If you are going to directly ask them if they want dessert, there should be some rules in place beforehand. You are only allowed to directly ask my children if they would like ice cream after their meal under the following circumstances:

1. You plan on paying for it. Since you asked THEM, not ME if they wanted ice cream, I assume you understand they don't have a wallet in their diaper and therefore will not be paying for it.

2. Unless you plan on giving them a clean set of clothes, taking the dirty clothes home, deep cleaning the chocolate spots out of them, washing, drying, folding and returning them to us, then please don't offer my kids ice cream.

3. Unless you are the one that's going to come to my house and calm my children down from their sugar buzz and put them to bed for the evening, don't offer my kids ice cream.

I'm an adult. I can read. I'm fully aware your restaurant has a large dessert list and I'm sure it's delicious. If I would like a dessert (for me or my kids) I will seek it out myself.

If you would still prefer to offer my kids ice cream, but do not plan on doing the three steps listed above, please be aware that you must assist me calming my child down after you suggest dessert to them, and I tell them no.

Thanks and have a great day. And, next time, as we're walking out the door, please don't say, "Kids, come back tomorrow and I'll give you more ice cream then!"


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