In celebration of the Summer Olympics, I’ve created a list of Olympic games, just for dads.
(Cue patriotic music)
Each participant is given a pot of coffee to consume before the event begins. Unfortunately no dad is allowed to shower prior to the Olympics because his kids woke up before he did.
Diaper Change/ Toss - Dad, you will receive a large toddler with a very dirty diaper. For this event you have three baby wipes and one clean diaper. You have one minute to clean and change the child, wrap up diaper and toss it into diaper pail. Bonus points for keeping shirt clean during this event.
Stroller Obstacle Course- Be sure to avoid all the broken glass, dead animals and busted sidewalks. It is also important to keep the sun out of baby’s eyes at all times, and not let creepy bystanders touch your baby.
Making Lunch- Open soup with a can opener, spread peanut butter on bread then peel and chop a banana...while holding a baby.
Car Seat Installation- You are given a convertible car seat, infant seat with a base and a booster seat along with thirty minutes to install them correctly. It’s 95 degrees out, your car does not have the Latch carseat system. Your wife will be the official judge for this event.
Grandparent’s House Simulator- In the house you encounter a glass table, lamp cord, uncovered outlets and a fireplace. You must determine, in order, which items pose the most danger to your kids.
Grocery Store Trip- You have three kids with you. No dinner planned for the night. Your middle child just ate your grocery list. You have 15 minutes. Go.
Unfortunately, there are no awards given out to winners, but all dads do receive sympathetic looks from strangers and “atta boy” pats on the back for participating.